On the shore of the five

Zwar hat das echt nichts mit Shakuhachi zu tun, nur will ich diesen Gedanken in meinem Geiste nicht verlieren, daher schreib ich es mal hier rein

Here I stand on the shore of the Five; with every wave that washes over my bare feet, I feel it dragging me back. And yet I stand rigid, sensing how the grains of sand at my heels are being pulled toward the water. What holds me back—fear or doubt? Uncertainty or stubbornness? Do I feel safer on the mainland than in the depths of the ocean? I am torn between land and water, and persistent turmoil leaves the decision only to chance, while I imagine having a home in both realms. Have mercy and guide!